1. Doorknobs melt as you try to escape
      a hallway made of cake.
      All you have is a palm full of icing. _____
 
2. You make love
      to your high school history teacher
      in a life raft. He chokes you
      as he climaxes. _____
 
3. You’re peeing in the bathroom
      of your childhood home
      when the walls fall down.
      You’re in the middle of COP22.
      Greta Thunberg
      is so ashamed of you. ______
 
4. You get an emergency alert on your phone
      because Godzilla is coming.
      You sit in a hot tub
      and watch as she stomps your house. ______
 
5. Jesus, Buddha, and Rama
      sit on the porch in plastic chairs
      drinking hard lemonades
      as the muddy water rises.
      You can’t sit with them
      because you’re on your period. ______
 
6. You walk through the desert.
      A white man in a suit waits at the oasis.
      You open his briefcase.
      It’s full of scrabble tiles,
      so you beat him to death
      with a participation trophy. ______
 
7. You chew on blue marbles
      and catch your teeth
      as they fall out. You glue them
      back together with gold filigree
      and offer them to an elder
      shark who needs them more. ______
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
                                                                                                                                                                                     Answer key:
 
                                                                                                                          1. You want to have sex with your father.
                                                                                                                          2. You want to have sex with your father.
                                                                                                                          3. You want to have sex with your father.
                                                                                                                          4. You want to have sex with your father.
                                                                                                                          5. You want to have sex with your father.
                                                                                                                          6. You want to have sex with your father.
                                                                                                                          7. You want to have sex with your father.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Born in Edmonton, Alberta, Paige Welsh’s creative work has been published in Narrative Magazine, Bear Review, and Gigantic Sequins. You can find her book reviews in The Los Angeles Review of Books and Tinderbox Poetry Journal. When she’s not writing, she likes to garden with her partner Chris, and their cat, Biscuits.