Everyone needs to shut the fuck up about zombies      It's high time we had a frank
discussion about the reptilian agenda

i don’t feel #1 handsome man      i mean i never do but especially not 
right now      Millions of people around the world are on the brink of literally
starving to death and im reading about the new thor movie and thinking about
how TODAY ON THE TRAIN I SAW A GUY EAT THREE BANANAS IN A ROW 

When i grow up im gonna be a tornado god     LOL     just brought home a stray kitten 
But for the record this was my best hair day ever       i finally found me irl    im drinking 
Old Style Beer and taking a nap in sleep’s clothing      Dream suicide by microwave  just 

build a giant one and climb up inside (A cool way to die would be too many pizza rolls)   
These are names for the kitten:

based cat, murder hell, death beast, pimpcat 6.90, Enron, cat of 9-11 tails, GunFuck 420

Whatever happened to that one guy   When he pulled out the third banana, i said no 
fucking way out loud to myself      My favorite part about riding the bus real late at night 
in Spatula City is the people who are actually aliens with bad human costumes 

The kitten names are all real short is the only bad thing    i know this is really bad form 
but guys i was proud of this one: Black Sabbath Vol. 4

^^^simple, elegant, smart without beating you over the head with it      Although it doesnt 
have the zip of GunFuck420

Stay cool and have a great summer would be a pretty funny  suicide note      It’s never 
anybody’s birthday anymore   

Anybody real i mean (that's mostly true only a little joking)

 

 

—-

 

 

Robert Bruno: YAY ME!
 
Note: This piece is comprised mainly of reconstructed lines from Drew Henderson’s potential memoir: I Hate Everyone, Everything Sucks, and I Am The Only Smart Person: My Life In Words #JCROWNCHAMP