The secret-non-secret is to live someplace you hate, like the body. Or
a trailer house with trapdoors & bunnies rather than a brick Tudor.
Neither the honey nor the bee. It’s why we never escaped. Spent money on
fast cars, Precious Moments, clothes rather than mortgages. For better
days, we said when we meant instant gratification. When I needed to
forget every goddamn minute, I forgot to hate the rats nesting in my
bed, the cockroaches clinging to the ceiling. It was what it was. But I
wouldn’t invite friends for sleepovers; I wouldn’t invite boys into my
body either. We wear these vardos—nothing but the ambition to move
on & restlessness when we can’t. The non-secret is trailer houses don’t
even have wheels, can only be moved with the right equipment.
Another way language fails us. Another way hunger lies.
some wheels are not ours
to keep, are removed
upon delivery
*
The secret-non-secret is to live someplace you trapdoor
a trailer house withs & bunnies rather I I instant
Neither the honey nor the bee. It’s why we never escaped. Spent
fast cars, Precious Moments, clothes rather than mortgages. For
days, we said when we meantgratification. When needed goddamn
forget everyminute, I forgot to hate the rats nesting in my what it was
bed, the cockroaches clinging to the ceiling. It was. But I language
wouldn’t invite friends for sleepovers; I wouldn’t invite boys into my
body either. We wear these vardos—nothing butambition
on & restlessness when we can’t.The non-secret is trailer
even have wheels, can only be moved with the right equipment.
Another wayfails us. Another way hunger lies.
some wheels are not ours
to keep, are removed
upon delivery
*
either honey or bee
we
wear
nothing but
restlessness
ours
to keep
Kara Dorris is the author of two poetry collections: Have Ruin, Will Travel (Finishing Line Press, 2019) and When the Body is a Guardrail (2020). She has also published five chapbooks: Elective Affinities (dancing girl press, 2011), Night Ride Home (Finishing Line Press, 2012), Sonnets from Vada’s Beauty Parlor & Chainsaw Repair (dancing girl press, 2018), Untitled Film Still Museum (CW Books, 2019), and Carnival Bound [or, please unwrap me] (The Cupboard Pamphlet, 2020). Her poetry has appeared in Prairie Schooner, DIAGRAM, I-70 Review, Southword, Rising Phoenix, Harpur Palate, Cutbank, Hayden Ferry Review, Tinderbox, Puerto del Sol, The Tulane Review, and Crazyhorse, among others literary journals, as well as the anthology Beauty is a Verb (Cinco Puntos Press, 2011). Her prose has appeared in Wordgathering, Breath and Shadow, Waxwing, and the anthology The Right Way to be Crippled and Naked (Cinco Puntos Press, 2016). She earned a MFA in creative writing at New Mexico State University and a PhD in literature and poetry at the University of North Texas. Currently, she is a visiting assistant professor of English at Illinois College. For more information, please visit karadorris.com.
